Do you ever question yourself as to why you do the things you do? Do you wonder if other people react the same way in certain situations? Do you tend to obsess or over think things? Do you find yourself so distracted that you can’t do anything else but wait? How do you know if the way you think is normal?
Not everyone handles situations the same way. There are several personality types in each of us that tells us how we would deal with different life situations. We have the driver personality, who can make a decision in a split second. They don’t have to think about it. They just do it. Then you have your analytical personality, who has to think about it, go home to do research, talk to people, think about it some more and then finally make a decision. Next, comes the amiable personality who will do whatever everyone else is doing. They tend to be the follower and are considered people pleasers, and last but not least the expressive personality, who can pretty much make a decision like the driver, but it’s based more on emotion. They wear their emotions on their sleeve, and if they’re excited about something, the whole world knows about it.
Everyone has all four but there is usually one that is more dominate than the others. Driver and analytical types are considered cold people and amiable and expressive are warm people. You can be a driver/expressive or an analytical/amiable, etc. My personality is Expressive/Driver. Which one are you?
I know it drives me crazy when someone doesn’t share in the excitement the way that I do. I could be jumping up and down, and I want someone to jump up and down with me. So it sucks when you have a friend or a significant other who may be just as excited as you, but they show it differently. Don’t you just want to punch them in the face? I really can understand this frustration, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I received an email from one of our Coffee Talkers that wanted me to share her situation on the blog and get everyone’s feedback.
Dear Kimmie,
I’m a single divorced mom for many years. I was recently contacted by an old boyfriend through a friend request on Facebook. It’s been over 20 years. I have no idea what’s been going on in his life. I do know for a fact that he got married over ten years ago, but that’s all. I was so excited at the friend request that I had to accept. Even though we didn’t go out for very long, we were crazy for each other. Unfortunately, the timing wasn’t right, and therefore, we broke up.
He recently joined Facebook and I’m the second friend on his account. So I looked at that as a good sign. Since I’ve been out of the dating scene for so long, is it safe to assume that he must be interested considering I’m friend #2 and the only woman? The problem is, I haven’t heard from him since! I’m going crazy! How, after all these years do you contact someone who meant something to you and not follow through? There are no status updates or pictures on his wall, so he hasn’t been active, since he opened the account.
I did Google him and based on the info I found, it looks like he is single. He has his own business doing something that he loves. I think to myself, wow, he looked me up after all these years. It looks like he’s single, so now what? I have no patience for this! Why do men do this? I don’t know how to handle this. If you could post this on your blog, I would be curious to see how other women would react to this situation. I feel like I can’t do anything else because I’m just waiting to hear from him. Am I OCD or just crazy excited?
Thank you so much and I truly love your blog!
Anonymous Coffee Talker
So ladies, how would you handle this situation? Please give your honest opinion as to what she should do.
Your life is a reflection of your thoughts
The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
It’s actually very simple. You are what you think. Your life is everything you want it to be and is created by your thoughts. If you don’t like your life and want to see it change, it all starts by changing your thoughts. We all have a tendency to make things more complicated than they need to be. It’s the everyday outside influences, that we react to, that can keep us from manifesting what we really want.
A perfect example, is watching the news. How many of you sit down every night to watch? There is nothing on the news that benefits my life whatsoever. I don’t want to know who murdered their child, who got arrested for killing their parents or the financial turmoil of our country. How is that is going to make me feel good? You can get the weather online and any big breaking news you will hear from someone.
We are born with an emotional guidance system. Every few hours check it out by saying to yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” If you’re not feeling great, change it. Put on a funny movie, your favorite song or think about something that brings you joy. When you do that, you shift that energy into a positive one. Now go start manifesting what you want today, and leave all the negative crap for people who like to worry. Go find your joy!
Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself… ‘How did I get through all of that? The one who falls and gets back up…is much stronger than the one who never fell…
Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.
– George Weinberg
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
– Albert Einstein
If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.
– Martin Luther King, Jr
What are you hoping for today? Are you open to receiving it?
No one seems to prepare you for the changes that your body goes through when you turn 40. I don’t know why women don’t want talk about it, but I’m ready to bust it wide open! As your Coffee Talk New York girlfriend, I owe it to you to reveal the deep dark secrets of what happens to women after they turn 40. I am known for my brutal honesty, and I don’t believe in candy coating anything. I also know that I might not be everyone’s cup of tea, because I tell it like it is, but you know what? Not everyone is my cup of tea either. So there you have it.
Little by little it just creeps up on you. One day, your clothes start to get a little tighter, and you say to yourself; I will just eat salad this week, because that’s what used to work! Oh honey, not anymore it doesn’t. There are certain changes, like getting grey hair that we can expect, but there are other changes, that we aren’t prepared for that just happen overnight.
I started to notice hair growing from the strangest places? OMG, my body isn’t done growing hair yet, after 45 years? Are you freaking kidding me? Where the hell is this written in the “Women Over 40″manual?
One night, I’m sitting in my bathtub with a pound of Epson salt, soaking my hemorrhoids (that’s another bonus of being a woman in her 40s) and somehow trying to relax. Picture, a big, fat, naked Buddha sitting in the tub, when suddenly I looked down and saw an eyelash on my belly. That’s right, above the belly button but below the breast. My first thought was,” Oh let me blow on it and make a wish,” but that quickly changed to “WTF is this?” IT’S ATTACHED! How could an eyelash embed itself into a pore on my stomach? I jumped out so fast; you would have thought that there were Piranhas in the tub!
I’m freaking out! I’m dripping on the floor, trying to find the tweezers, so I can stop it from growing and doing anymore damage. To me, it was like a dandelion. 
I had to get it out now before it spreads, and before I have a whole field of eyelashes growing from my stomach! Oh yeah I’m sure that will be a big turn-on for any man. “Go ahead honey, blow on my stomach, and make a wish, you sick son of a bitch!”
A few days later, my son gives me a hug and looks up at me and tells me that I have a hair hanging from my chin. Are you serious? Where are the cameras? I’m on TV right? You just can’t make this stuff up! I go get the magnifying mirror (you know the one that zooms in through your skin to your skull), to take a look, and holy shit there it is! One little whisker growing out of my chin, I was horrified! I’ve always embraced each birthday with grace, dignity, and cocktails, but this was beyond anything that I have ever encountered nor was I prepared for. So, is this it? Is this what I have to look forward to, whiskers on my chin and a field of eyelashes growing from my stomach? I think not! I will not have it!
I’ve come to accept that there are changes that are inevitable, but that doesn’t change who were are as women. It just means there is a little more maintenance involved to looking your best, but no matter what you are still beautiful inside and out.
FYI, I highly recommend that everyone start carrying tweezers, in your purse, and don’t leave home without them. This little tool, has now become the staple in the toolbox of life for women over 40. You never know when you may need to do an emergency extraction!
There are more revealing secrets to come!
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