Hello to, all my Coffee Talkers! I know it’s been a very long time. I shied away from blogging for a while, because, quite frankly, my life hasn’t changed that much. I’m still fat, still single and still struggling with my life, but I know I’m not the only one, so here is throwing caution to the wind, once again.
I’ve been encouraged, by my dear sweet friends, to write about my latest venture in the dating world. After 6 years of not dating, I’ve decided that even though I hate the way I look, I was open to at least getting back out there. So I signed up for Match.com a few weeks ago. I threw up a quick profile with no picture, since I didn’t have any. I heard from one moron who read my profile and took the time to send me an email that said, “Hey, I’m from New York too.” That was it!!! Are you fucking kidding me? That’s all your pea brain could come up with? Am I supposed to respond to this? I think not! I hit the delete button without giving it a second thought.
I scanned the Match.com site to see what was out there. I was horrified to say the least. I don’t know if I’m in denial about my age, but everyone looks so old to me. I’m 46 but 27 in my mind. I’m very spunky, with a kick ass personality, and I would like a younger man who is going to keep up with me. Not some old guy who has linguine weenie and a ballsac that hangs down to his knees!! This scares the shit out of me!! I feel like I missed the boat, since I gave up dating six years ago. So after a quick gander, I decided not to read too much into it and just let the chips fall as they may. Even though I don’t have a picture on my profile, my chances are a lot lower to connect with someone, but I’m just dipping my toe in the water, so that’s ok, at least I’m out there.
Stay tuned for part 2 coming soon! See what happened at the Match.com Stir Event.
When was the last time you stopped and took a look at what was going on around you? I mean we are just so busy running around that I think we forget to stop and appreciate what is right in front of us. It’s God’s way of saying, see I made this for you, look!
My 13 year old son, who has Asperger’s, has a special gift. It has taken me many years before I really understood why God would give me a son with a so called “disability”. His gift, is he is always aware of all the beautiful things around us. He seems to see what we seem to miss or take for granted. Whether it’s a rock that looks cool, a cloud in shape of something or a beautiful sunrise or sunset. I can be folding laundry while dinner is on the stove and I will hear him from across the house say, “Mom, come quick, you have to see the sunset”! I have to be honest, there was a time I would say John not now I’m busy, but then something happened. I had a “light bulb” moment and realized that I was missing out on the most simplest things but ones that really matter.
Now that I’m aware, I thank God for John’s gift. He’s my little reminder saying, “See What you’re missing”?
Do you ever question yourself as to why you do the things you do? Do you wonder if other people react the same way in certain situations? Do you tend to obsess or over think things? Do you find yourself so distracted that you can’t do anything else but wait? How do you know if the way you think is normal?
Not everyone handles situations the same way. There are several personality types in each of us that tells us how we would deal with different life situations. We have the driver personality, who can make a decision in a split second. They don’t have to think about it. They just do it. Then you have your analytical personality, who has to think about it, go home to do research, talk to people, think about it some more and then finally make a decision. Next, comes the amiable personality who will do whatever everyone else is doing. They tend to be the follower and are considered people pleasers, and last but not least the expressive personality, who can pretty much make a decision like the driver, but it’s based more on emotion. They wear their emotions on their sleeve, and if they’re excited about something, the whole world knows about it.
Everyone has all four but there is usually one that is more dominate than the others. Driver and analytical types are considered cold people and amiable and expressive are warm people. You can be a driver/expressive or an analytical/amiable, etc. My personality is Expressive/Driver. Which one are you?
I know it drives me crazy when someone doesn’t share in the excitement the way that I do. I could be jumping up and down, and I want someone to jump up and down with me. So it sucks when you have a friend or a significant other who may be just as excited as you, but they show it differently. Don’t you just want to punch them in the face? I really can understand this frustration, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I received an email from one of our Coffee Talkers that wanted me to share her situation on the blog and get everyone’s feedback.
I’m a single divorced mom for many years. I was recently contacted by an old boyfriend through a friend request on Facebook. It’s been over 20 years. I have no idea what’s been going on in his life. I do know for a fact that he got married over ten years ago, but that’s all. I was so excited at the friend request that I had to accept. Even though we didn’t go out for very long, we were crazy for each other. Unfortunately, the timing wasn’t right, and therefore, we broke up.
He recently joined Facebook and I’m the second friend on his account. So I looked at that as a good sign. Since I’ve been out of the dating scene for so long, is it safe to assume that he must be interested considering I’m friend #2 and the only woman? The problem is, I haven’t heard from him since! I’m going crazy! How, after all these years do you contact someone who meant something to you and not follow through? There are no status updates or pictures on his wall, so he hasn’t been active, since he opened the account.
I did Google him and based on the info I found, it looks like he is single. He has his own business doing something that he loves. I think to myself, wow, he looked me up after all these years. It looks like he’s single, so now what? I have no patience for this! Why do men do this? I don’t know how to handle this. If you could post this on your blog, I would be curious to see how other women would react to this situation. I feel like I can’t do anything else because I’m just waiting to hear from him. Am I OCD or just crazy excited?
Thank you so much and I truly love your blog!
Anonymous Coffee Talker
So ladies, how would you handle this situation? Please give your honest opinion as to what she should do.
The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
It’s actually very simple. You are what you think. Your life is everything you want it to be and is created by your thoughts. If you don’t like your life and want to see it change, it all starts by changing your thoughts. We all have a tendency to make things more complicated than they need to be. It’s the everyday outside influences, that we react to, that can keep us from manifesting what we really want.
A perfect example, is watching the news. How many of you sit down every night to watch? There is nothing on the news that benefits my life whatsoever. I don’t want to know who murdered their child, who got arrested for killing their parents or the financial turmoil of our country. How is that is going to make me feel good? You can get the weather online and any big breaking news you will hear from someone.
We are born with an emotional guidance system. Every few hours check it out by saying to yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” If you’re not feeling great, change it. Put on a funny movie, your favorite song or think about something that brings you joy. When you do that, you shift that energy into a positive one. Now go start manifesting what you want today, and leave all the negative crap for people who like to worry. Go find your joy!
Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself… ‘How did I get through all of that? The one who falls and gets back up…is much stronger than the one who never fell…
Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.
– George Weinberg
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
– Albert Einstein
If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.
– Martin Luther King, Jr
What are you hoping for today? Are you open to receiving it?